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Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

A Sickly Green Descends Over The Screen

Posted by zedpop on 17/07/07

Fifth “Shrek” May Be The Last – LATimes.com

shrek_3_5.jpg Just when you thought that the disappointing third installment was the last one, here comes another one. No wait, another two. Coming out of the “no new ideas” folder is word from DreamWorks that the fifth installment “may be the last”. What worries me is that there is definitely going to be a fourth one and that the fifth one “may” be the last. Also meaning that it may also “not be” the last.

Shrek The Third is said to have raked in almost $80 Million dollars worldwide as nothing but profit. Nothing encourages more of the sameness than stupidly high amounts of profit. Sure, not nearly as much as part I or II, but enough to as they put it:

The story itself has five chapters,” Sullivan said. “Based on the success of the first three films, at the very least, the next one, ‘Shrek 4,’ is warranted.”

Hide while you can. There’s more of this crap on the horizon.


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You Can’t Hide When You’re Yellow.

Posted by zedpop on 13/07/07

Fox Keeps A Lid On “Simpsons Movie” – LATimes.com


As we should all be well aware by now, the Simpsons Movie is almost vomiting upon our screens. Whilst the trailers would like us to believe that this is that snappy, witty and wise Simpsons of the earier years any realist will know that the show has slipped in the last 5 years. That the movie could never be as great as if they had released it at the peak of the popularity of the show.

Now this comes out – that they are not doing any critic screenings until 3 days before the release (27/7/07). The official word from Fox was that they didn’t want to spoil the “plot” or have the movie scooped by internet blogging sites. But just a quick read of the article and even blind freddy can see that there is a little misdirection going on here.

“Anybody who’s needed to see the film has already seen it,” said the spokeswoman, who asked that her name not be used. “We’re not concerned about audience response to the film. The audience response has been overwhelming.”

Or to put it in English: “Only Matt Groening, Rupert Murdoch and the usher have seen it. We don’t care what you think, millions of idiots will pay to see it regardless of how crap it is”

This is actually a fairly common marketing ploy among movie makers when they are worried that their movie isn’t quite up to par, yet they have spent a lot of money buzzing it and making people excited about it. They want to earn as much money as they can before the negative reviews come in and quash the film (Fantastic Four, anyone?)

If the film was any good they’d have no qualms about a pre-release screening for the critics because the critics with their positive opinions could sway the so-so public into going to see the movie, thus making more money for Fox. The die hards will go no matter how bad it is.

It’s sad to say that the Simpsons should have kicked it years ago but it’s honest. There will always be a place for main stream animation, but just not the Simpsons. Not anymore.

Posted in Movies, News | 2 Comments »

Transform And Roll Out

Posted by zedpop on 03/07/07

Why The Original Transformers Movie Is Better Than Michael Bays – Slate.com

┬áLike it ever stood a chance. The new Transformers movie is finally out and the nerds (myself included) are out and about braving sunlight and contact with girls to see it. We’re both foaming at the mouth and shaking our fists at the same time. This is going to be the most loved/hated movie of the season.

Like any good geek, Transformers was a staple of my cartoon diet and Optimus Prime was my home boy. Megatron was scary as shit and Starscream was the sniveling psition jockey that usually led to the Deceptacon’s downfall. I even remember the episodes where he got what he wanted but missed Megatron too much. See? even evil is sweet.

But this isn’t about childhood memories, it’s about the crushing hulk of the new Transformers movie versus the old made-for-tv one. I’ll tell you this much when Prime bites it in the first one I cry. Every time, I cry. I loved Prime and to watch his noble animated sacrifice just tears me up inside. Nothing was more human that what Prime did at that moment. He knew that the Autobots would be lost without him but that if he lived, the world would be lost.

I’m going to guarantee you, even without having seen the new one yet that there’s not going to be a shed tear in the house. That no fanboy is going to cry if be-lipped Optimus croaks or if Scorpionok gets smushed. More likely we’ll be gawking at the special effects because that’s what a movie is these days, it’s special effects.

The original had none of the budget, none of the whiz-bang and none of the promotion, it was simply a good story voiced by some awesome actors and that’s what made it a cult classic. A perfect seguay between the first and second evolutions of Transformers. Of course I’m fully expecting a TV return of Transformers, but I don’t know if it will be the same or if it will be CGI’d into an unregonizable mess.

Stick with the basics. Good. Evil. Transform. Theme Song.


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Speedstar* – Unbreakable

Posted by zedpop on 30/06/07


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Watch Alba Wii!

Posted by zedpop on 14/06/07

Story (Via Yahoo!)

In what looks like angling for some promotional dollars from Nintendo, Jessica Alba has been talking about how much fun it is to Wii.

I’m sure there’s lots of non-famous people who love their Wii too, but Yahoo! sure as shit doesn’t write and article about them. I’m trying to decide whether this article was written because she’s “famous” or because she’s a she. If Orlando Bloom told us he loves his PS3, would that make the news?

Maybe it’s just coincidence that Alba is starring in a summer crapbuster, maybe I’m a little jaded over here. There’s no secret that “famous” people sell things. Like Diddy shilling hamburgers or Ogresses selling computers. But am I to think that Alba is loving the Wii publicly for nothing? Out of the goodness of her heart? Maybe Nintendo has a sweet positioning in the movie, or maybe..uh..duh…the game of the movie will come out on Wii and they’d like to sell three or four before we all realise how crap it is.

I’m also not going out on a limb to guess that the Wii was frii, well that is, in exchange for a few kind words. Now if only I was famous enough to sell my soul for an iPhone.

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It’s A Steal

Posted by zedpop on 10/06/07

Story (Via Yahoo!)

Unsurprisingly a film starring, oh, I don’t know two of the hottest men on earth is going to do well at the box office. This no-brainer formula must be right up with there next to “lots of cleavage” and “saying fuck a lot”. Irregardless of the slop that was Ocean’s 12 – George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Token Foreign Guy, Token Crappy Comedian, Asian guy who doesn’t get any lines, Old Dude who’s meant to be a film legend, Female who will, at one point – be topless, three actors you’ve never seen before and two extras who keep changing between takes must be really hard up on cash to make YET ANOTHER SEQUEL.

Clooney is known for his take-a-chance movies (“Good Night And Good Luck”), his “safe” movies (“Intolerable Cruelty”) and his Oh-god-I’m-On-Acid movies (“Batman Forever”). Pitt meanwhile is known for going to the No Need For Acting Skills School Of Drop Dead Good Looks. Yet somehow – somehow everyone thought that teaming these two up with a bunch of background actors (Sorry, Damon you’re a B lister and you know it) was good for not one, but three movies.

Granted the first one was a remake, it was a good remake of a great film – but somehow I don’t see Ocean’s 13 being remade in 10 years time. More likely collecting dust in the pile with the other shit three-peats that just squeeze money and no story.

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