You Must Remember This

Winona Finally Talks About Shoplifting Incident – Yahoo!

Hey! remember Winona? You know….Winona? She was in some movies…a while back..Heathers? Uh…Girl, Interrupted? you know….the brunette one. No? Remember the chick who got busted stealing shit from Sak’s? yeah no? Sure you do, because she’s here to remind you!

Winona Ryder, after years of obscurity silence, opens up about that whole shoplifting thing she did in 2001 that FOX News wouldn’t shut up about. Now that your memory is refreshed right up, she can go on to tell you that it wasn’t her fault, merely the underpants gnomes drugs were telling her what to do.

But, never fear! Drugs are bad mmmkay? She stopped taking Oxy and is all right now and is really sorry that she was that desperate for attention. Although from the looks of things, she’s still pretty desperate for attention that she’s talking about stuff that happened almost six years ago.

In the spirit of Winona Ryder and no longer famous – Primus!

Silverchair – Straight Lines

 

Frente! – Bizzare Love Triangle

 

Arctic Monkey Endangerment!

Arctic Monkeys “shiver” at Live Earth Hypocrisy – Yahoo!

Oh no, whatever shall we do, some whingy British band is vying for attention and are lashing out at Live Earth! I’m sure we’re all just shaking in our footy pyjamas. Disappointing sales of there second album, the fact that nobody cares about them after their breakout and despite their massive popularity 15 minutes ago, I don’t remember ever hearing one of their songs. Like so much fireworks Arctic Monkeys have fizzled out. Stupid name and all. I believe they too Franz Fedinand with them.

But, whoa! what crap through yonder internet breaks?

Large parts of the band’s hometown of Sheffield were flooded at the end of last month after a deluge of mid-summer rain that some blamed on global warming. Two people were killed.

But the band wonder why anyone would be interested in the opinion of rock stars on a complex scientific issue like climate change.

Because scientists are boring as bat shit and nobody puts them on TV. Oh, and nobody respects them. But here, you have fans, people who love you music and that thing you do and would listen to you if you preached slapping grandmas for peace.

Bob Geldof, the architect of Live Aid and Live 8, the two biggest awareness-raising concerts in history, had a public spat with Al Gore about the need for the event.”Why is he (Gore) actually organising them?”

Because, numbnuts, some people still don’t get it. Some people are hopeless that there isn’t anything we can do. Some people don’t even believe in global warming.  Raising awareness isn’t just “hey, it’s here! look!” it’s also about what we can do for the situation. Remember?  the theory behind your own concert wankfests? Like you’ve got a copyright on them?

If it takes a concert by popular artists to wake people up, then I’m all for as many as we need. Here’s to President Gore.

All I Ever Wanted Was Ziggy-Zig-Ah

(Spice Girls Announce Reunion – LATimes.com)

As if their “legacy” wasn’t enough, as if Spiceworld was not good enough for them the Spice Girls are back to haunt us again with pure pop craptacularness. If you don’t remember the Spice Girls, feel lucky – feel very lucky. An early nineties phenomena of five English “birds” bouncing in tops to small to music too bubbly. Is the horror coming back yet?

Is the visual reminder helping at all? Just imagine the ginger one’s tits flopping out when she curtsy’s to the Queen. There, classy aren’t they?

In this age of bands reforming – The Police, Duran Duran, Poison, Genesis for one thing only and it’s sure not the music the last thing we need is a reformation of a prefabbed group. Weren’t they crap enough the first time? do we really need to have it all over again? But I bet you that these concerts will sell. People will go and see the Spice Girls. Don’t you get it, if you support terrorism, then it keeps happening! And this is the worst kind of terrorism there is – musical terrorism.

When has a reformation ever actually worked? They get together and then they realise why they broke up in the first place, what a wonderful lesson. Can’t we just all agree to move on? It’s obvious that these groups are greater than the sum of their solo parts but it’s alot easier to ignore the solo artist than it is the “mega band”. It just gets worse when they don’t even realise that their time is up.

Twisted Sister is still playing, but they know it’s a joke. They don’t make a lot of money doing it and they don’t crap on about it either. The most polite thing the Spice Girls could have done, other than not reform at all was to do it quietly and work their way back up.

hahahahaha. Oh, nevermind.

John, Paul, George & George

Story (via RS.com)

If ever there was a sign that we need to put this old goat out to pasture, or indeed to the back shed to put a shell in him then surely this is it. Most people know when it’s their time to move on, some hand on a little longer than necessary, but most will shuffle off in due time. Just look at Bob Barker and Tony Blair.

But not King, oh noes, Larry King has interviewed everyone from Julius Caesar to Snoop and I believe he’d probably continue this until he’s interviewing the 2040 olympic team. In one of his more memorable spots King had Yoko Ono, Paul McCartney, Olivia Harrison and Ringo Starr on and between inane questions he referred to the Beatles drummer as “George”

Starr, being Starr was content to let it go, but Paul, being Paul decided to jerk him around a little and I believe for once, I’m with Paul -

KING: Where were you when — when John passed?
MCCARTNEY: When John passed I was in Sussex, at my home in Sussex. That’s where I was.
KING: Did somebody call you?
MCCARTNEY: Yes, my manager at the time called me. And it was just the shock of all shocks, you know?
KING: George, where were you?
MCCARTNEY: George!
KING: Ringo.
MCCARTNEY: No, this is Ringo here.
KING: Ringo, where were you?
STARR: I was in the Bahamas.
KING: I was getting to (INAUDIBLE) George.
STARR: I was…
MCCARTNEY: No, you weren’t, Larry. You said his name wrong.
STARR: Shut up, it’s my turn.
MCCARTNEY: I know, but he got your name wrong, Ringo, on national television.
STARR: I know. Give him a break.
MCCARTNEY: We can’t cut it. It’s live.
STARR: Anyway, I was in the Bahamas and the kids called and they said we’ve heard something, like John has been hurt.

Seriously, inarguably the most famous band ever comprising of four of the most famous men ever and King can’t tell them apart. It’s his JOB to know who’s who. It’s his deal to be on top of things. And this isn’t even RECENT news, this is just merely a milk run.

Despite how much of an arse Paul is, I’d still be enamoured to meet the bloke, I’d even like to meet Ringo if I wasn’t busy that day. Sheesh. It’s time for King to leave. All things must pass, Larry – all things must pass.

Spiderbait – Buy Me A Pony

 

Diving For Pearls

 

Story (Via Yahoo!)

 

Millions of men who were teens in the late nineties were seen jumping for joy today as the evil mastermind behind both N*Sync and the Backstreet Boys was finally brought to justice. On the run from good music lovers, Pearlman was finally found holed up in a soundproof booth trying to put together another boy band to release upon the world.

Upon apprehension, Pearlman sneered and said that we “hadn’t heard the last of him” and that he had his secret weapon still unrevealed. Reports later confirmed that this was in fact, Maroon 5. Adam Levine was unavailable for comment as he was busy poncing around pretending to be hardcore.

Okay so maybe it wasn’t for bad music, maybe it was actually for fraud, still you have to hope. My

favourite part of the article is when he compared himself to Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez. Smooth move there, ace compare yourself to captain nutso and used-to-be-popular-now-lauged-at J Lo. At least he didn’t compare himself to Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding. Yikes.

 

Tripod – Hot Girl In The Comic Shop